The Interview

Before I know it, another year has slipped through my grasp. I am thirty-two now. I am okay with that. It was almost exactly two years ago that I was hired. That's a pretty good run I guess. Now, to find my next victim... Unless you have been in a sound proof, very dark closet for a year or two, you are aware of the job market situation, not good. Especially in our area. After the crash of the housing market, countless contractors and sub-contractors were left out of work and inevitably out of business, myself included. With the media all claiming recession or depression, depending whom you consult, and skyrocketing unemployment rates, increasing on a monthly basis, it was not going to be easy to find work at all. I applied for everything that came under my nose. I completed my job search, having submitted something like forty-five resumes and going to only four or five interviews.

Before the end of the year I had picked up some part-time work bookkeeping for a gentleman from his home, but it wasn't enough money or work to speak of. I also never went back to work for him after one particular occasion following Thanksgiving. My husband and I had been joking about having 'turkey gas'. Little did I know we weren't the only ones. I had an appointment to meet this gentleman at his home and finish bringing his books up to date, I was almost done. When I arrived he was waiting for me and filled me in on a few details. We were both working in his home office from computers that were pretty much back to back. He was telling me about a company that he consulted for that would be looking for a new bookkeeper at the beginning of the year and I thanked him for the notice. I stayed all day and worked, but there was one problem, the guy had terrible turkey gas. Unable to come up with an excuse not to go back, as the work was neither difficult nor time consuming, I finally just stopped answering his calls. I just couldn't bring myself to go back to that gas chamber or lie about why not.

The first interview I got invited to was for another construction company, very close to my home. I was interviewed by the office manager, who was a young lady very close to my own age, if not a little younger, but lacking in personality. It was going okay until she told me they had advertised the wages at half my last salary. They advertised in two different venues and I had replied to the one that didn't have a salary listed, obviously. So when they told me their range and asked me what I thought I deserved in that range I replied, "Double." I could hear it starting to downpour outside so I politely excused myself and thanked them for the opportunity (to waste my time). But it never hurts to have a 'warm-up' interview, since it's usually been a while since you've been to one, so I chalked this up to that.

At one point I was sending out resumes at such a feverish rate that I began to lose track of to whom they were going. My mother convinced me to get my community association manager certification, which is needed in Florida when managing properties with a large annual budget. So I kind of was gearing my search towards property management. I got a call from a gentleman from a campground, I didn't even realize I applied for a position there as bookkeeper. I was a little disappointed until I googled it and realized that it was a huge campground with rental properties and lot sales. I just assumed campground... I'm not sure what I thought. I was early for the interview, as it wasn't nearly as bad a drive as I was anticipating so I doubled back for a coffee. The interview went well, the gentleman, who was the property manager and I were getting along very well, there was a lot of smiling and laughing which I usually take as a good sign. He inquired as to my salary requirements and then the interview was over. It wasn't until later that I realized the correlation between the amount of money I was asking for and the end of the interview. It seems like employers in the area were taking great advantage of the employment situation and surplus of applicants, sometimes letting people go that they felt were under par to hire newbies at much lower rates. I followed up with him with an e-mail thanking him for the opportunity and expressed my interest in the campground, but to my disappointment never got a response.

My third interview was at a publishing company. I have no printing, editing, publishing experience whatsoever, but this was an office position, so it wasn't too far of a stretch. I met with the owners of the company, I later realized a husband and wife. They were very pleasant and seemed genuinely interesting and like they would be nice people to work for, aside from it being another family business, of which I was leery. We talked about them opening a warehouse location and I told them to keep me on file for the future, as shipping and logistics are one my resume already. I didn't get a call back, but they were kind enough to send a thanks, but no thanks letter, which I really appreciate as it allows me to close the door on that opportunity.

The fourth interview was in a college town that was quite a drive, I map quested it at forty-five miles, later to find out on my GPS that there was a shorter way that was only thirty-five miles, not so bad, but I had already kind of written it off due to distance. Turned out the drive was very pleasant and the interview went pretty well. The woman who did the interviewing seemed pretty down-to-business-type, so I liked that. The company is a multi-national engineering firm that does a certain type of static load testing that is exclusive to this company, i.e. job security. She assured me that they have a very high retention rate and that the person for whom I am replacing has left for retirement, a very good sign. I had a pretty good feeling about this one and the woman interviewing seemed like she was exhausted of doing it and ready to make her decision.

She reminds me of my mother. Strawberry blond hair, freckled complexion, all business, with an underlying cynical sense of humor. I think we'll get along just fine. I have already made up my mind that I will accept if given the opportunity, but I continue to search and schedule interviews.
A week later, as promised, she contacted me again for a second interview, this time including someone from their accountant's office to assist her in discerning if I was actually qualified and not just an expert resume writer. To hedge my bet I scheduled another interview on the same day in the morning. The morning interview left me desperate for an offer.

I showed up an the morning interview, an aluminum sub-contractor I had previously done business with in my last job. Upon entering I came across a little red headed child at the front desk. She promptly stood and introduced herself in a very grown up way and took me back to meet her mother, who was interviewing. I was there for an hour, kind of a long time for an interview. Over the course of the hour she explained how she home schools their three (all red headed daughters, don't ask my why the color of their hair matters, I just thought it was shocking or disturbing, the three of them with their bright red locks all sitting at their own desks, in what I assumed had been other lucky employee's' desks) daughters at the office while she works. She then proceeded to bad mouth their current employees and gave me enough insight to realize that this office was a disaster. I contemplated offering to clean up her past employees mess by coming in as a consultant, but I figured that the little red kids were too freaky for me to spend any more time there than was already wasted.

In between interviews, I stopped at home for a rest. On the way, about a mile from home, on the edge of the road was a huge turtle. My husband and I are pretty good about saving turtles from roadkill by stopping and relocating them whenever we see them on the road. I contemplated for a moment, I was dressed pretty neatly in my best interview duds (which are probably my best duds period) and turned around and stopped my BMW in front of Mr. Turtle, his lucky day. This road in particular is a two lane highway, that isn't incredibly busy, but is trafficked frequently by big trucks - without much regard for wildlife. I approached Mr. Turtle and grabbed him by the sides of his shell, like I normally would with any old turtle. Upon doing so, he hissed and JUMPED up and SNAPPED at me! I guess he was one of those snapping turtles my husband is always warning me about. How bad could a turtle be? I grossly underestimated my charity case now turned opponent Mr. Turtle. Having no desire to soil my fancy pants, by being bitten or...otherwise, I walked back to my car to search for assistance. I grabbed the first thing I saw as any woman would, my purse. This time I approached Mr. Turtle in a much more aggressive fashion, crouching down and stomping my feet, possibly even flapping my arms and making some very strange 'shoo' type noises. He didn't budge and in fact, he too came back on the assertive, again jumping and snapping against my advance. I tried whacking and shooing him with my purse but he was only coming on the attack against it. Not wanting any permanent damage to my purse, finally I came up with an idea. I had a long, narrow card board box in my trunk and went to retrieve it. I took the box and gently shoved him just barely off the road into safety, the whole time he was snapping and shredding the box, better than any part of me I guess. My original plan was to pick him up and carry him far enough to safety close to a nearby pond but that wasn't going to jive with Mr. Turtle, so I left him barely off the road and wished him luck. Snapping turtles, they really do snap.

I got home and rested up for my second interview, still somewhat shell-shocked from the first. I don't know why those red-headed kids freaked me out. Must have been the combination of red hair and home schooling, which I think is weird too. Don't parents want their kids out of the house off at school?