Christmas is coming..

It's that time again. I have gift shopping pretty easy this year, thankfully, my brother is engaged, so he and his fiance are getting something off their registry, and he's usually the hardest to shop for. My parents are fairly simple and grandmothers are grandmothers, not too bad. I'm making it a pseudo tradition of going to my parents' for Thanksgiving, so I try to get all my shopping done by then, that way I can bring everything with me on the plane. So for the most part that's a done deal. I only have my husband and in laws to shop for now, and my husband actually requested something this year, AND showed me a picture of it so I can't get it wrong. The in laws I'm going to leave in his court. I have no idea what to get them.

Actually this is the first year they'll be spending all together with us. Usually my mother-in-law goes up to see her daughter and other relatives in Long Island and Nantucket, and in recent years she has been taking my father-in-law along with her. Unfortunately they are staying because they have to, not because they want to. My father-in-law's health is failing, he is 87 years young, and they had to cancel their trip so he can stay home for radiation treatment. My mother-in-law is 80, and she has cancer too.

It may be selfish of me, but I'm kind of glad they have to stay for my husband's sake. I think he will really appreciate spending the holiday together, like a real family for a change. He even put up our Christmas tree last night, which in itself is a Christmas miracle. In the seven years we've lived together, he has never, ever done anything to contribute to the Christmas preparations. Every other woman I know has been talking about their husbands fighting with the lights and the tree, and I finally put my foot down, two weeks before Christmas, and I told him that if he didn't put up the tree I just wasn't going to bother with it this year. Bah humbug. It's not really any fun to do it all by yourself.

At my parents house it's usually something we would do on a weekend day, go out and get a fresh tree, then come home and watch dad wrastle the tree in the house, then fight with the lights while me and mom wait to decorate it and listen to Christmas music. Good time had by all. But I guess everyone thinks their family's holiday traditions are the best. Ray doesn't talk much about his family holiday memories, makes me think he doesn't have any worth sharing, but that's another story and it's not mine so I won't get into it.

Let's see... how's work going? Oh, okay. The boss is still out of town. He took his wife, the baby and their yappy dog down to the Keys for the past two and a half weeks. I guess his intention was to have a bunch of family and friends come down over the weekends to spend time together, but every time I've talked to him he sounds more stressed out than usual. The first weekend, his parents and brother went down to stay, which worked out great for me because both he and his father were out of my hair for a brief period - fantastic. Apparently it worked out great for him too because this was the only time in their vacation they had a baby sitter - his mom - which as a first time grandmother, she just loved.

Let me preface this part by saying that I don't dislike my boss but that we have a very strange working relationship. We are pretty close in age, in fact he is only six years older than me, just like my own brother. Ironically he has a brother my age too. His wife is much younger, I may have mentioned that before, about the princess bride. We generally speak very candidly to each other, which in some ways is refreshing. I hate people that beat around the bush. It seems like our relationship has been strained ever since the baby came into the picture. However, since he's been away I have been re-examining this tension between us. I had previously told myself that it was because I was mad at him for not putting any effort into the business, my number one priority, but lately I've been thinking that I'm just plain old jealous. I mean they are a pretty young, good looking, successful couple, brand new healthy baby, frankly they are nauseating. His wife is five or six years younger than me and makes twice as much money with half the education and he treats her like a princess as does everyone she works with, literally. I'm sure I've already mentioned that she lost all of the baby weight immediately upon giving birth - barf. So, since he's been away I've been nicer to him over the phone, I admit the first couple of days I was just plain old curt, but I'm dealing with it. I just realized today that he maxed out the thirty thousand dollar credit card limit, and I'm purposely not making a payment until Monday - ha, that'll teach them.

Every time he's called me from vacation he's walking around town or whispering so his wife can't hear, I guess she doesn't want him talking business on vacation, but some situations are unavoidable. And it's not me calling him either, don't be mistaken, I'm totally self sufficient running this office. Sometimes he calls me or sends me an e-mail at the most unusual times, to share a special moment he had when he was kyaking at sunrise or going to get the most incredible Cuban coffee, he has his moments.

His first week away he called me and was upset because he and his wife couldn't do anything fun. He brought along all his scuba gear and jet skis, but they couldn't use them because the weather wasn't right. Then the next week it was that they couldn't do anything in between feeding and cleaning up shit - his words, not mine. He has gotten progressively grumpier throughout their vacation, the baby 'won't let him rest'. I'm not quite sure what he was expecting.

I'm pretty sure that they held the baby constantly the first two weeks after he was born and now he is getting weaned from that, as they feel he should be sleeping more and interfering with their yuppie-wanna-be lives. If you've ever had to 'wean' anything, it's not fun. We breed horses and eventually the babies have to be weaned from their mamas and it's not only very sad, but they usually make a fare amount of unbearable noise for a few days. I can imagine it really hasn't been that fun of a trip between the baby crying all night and the dog barking at the baby crying.

In the interest of holiday spirit, I'm putting my jealousy behind me - which is easier to do when you call it what it is. Aside from that, jealousy is ugly and I don't need any of that.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

This isn't the first nightmare I've had about work...

This week before the boss' three week vacation to the Keys has been particularly tense. He, himself has been overly stressed, and has been projecting it onto the rest of us lackeys. I'm pretty sure he had his dad in to be reprimanded on more than one occasion (I guess that's one of the perks of having your own business). He just keeps asking me if there's 'anything I need to get off my chest' before he goes on vacation. I broke down after we came back from Arkansas and told them (his dad, because my boss is too busy to listen to anything having to do with my personal life, and if his dad deems it important, he will relay the message to the boss) that we had made an offer on a place and we are very excited. Of course I did say that we'll be using it for a vacation home, at least until we come to a turning point with my in-laws - which who knows when that will be, tomorrow, three years, it's anybody's guess. Before the baby was born I was getting a sense of cold shoulder, and had considered that the boss' wife may decide to come and take my place, rather than go back to work at her job. Now that the baby is here, I think the boss is realizing how much easier having me here to 'do him favors' is making his and her lives. That's not to say that he really appreciates it though.

One of the other secretaries was in my office Monday, asking about Thanksgiving and exchanging the usual polite banter when the boss came in. Instead of saying 'Good morning' or 'Hi' to her, he just stood there holding the piece of paper he wanted to give me waiting for her to leave. Noticing how rude his behavior was I went to her later and apologized, of course it wasn't the first time he has completely snubbed her. She said she just couldn't understand why he was never friendly to her, and I agreed, although he treats me the same way. Never 'Good morning, how was your weekend' just straight to the commands or demands, usually followed by a request for me to update my 'to do list'. In fact, her boss and his wife are way friendlier to me than my own. I could make a business out of apologizing for him, I swear. He did the same thing to her mid-week, for which, again I apologized to her and tried to assure her that it wasn't her, it's definitely him.

As his departures nears, his behavior worsens. I don't know if you have ever witnessed an adult temper tantrum, but it's definitely something to be seen at least once.

Last night around five (that's when I leave, five), he calls me and asks 'for a favor'. What am I supposed to say to that?

Not to get sidetracked, but my last job I worked for a Jewish fellow (not that his religious denomination has anything to do with it, merely an observation) who, when I told him I needed time off or to leave early he would say 'sure, that's fine, but you'll owe me one.' Finally one day I got so sick of him saying it that I burst out in anger and told him 'NO, there's no owing you one! Either you give me the paid time off (because I was salary) or you make the adjustment to my check!' Yes, that's right, I had cut off my nose to spite my face and told them not to pay me for time off and, as requested, they didn't.

So, of course I said I'd be happy to do him a favor. Then he proceeds to break into a rant about how he went to the jet ski place to pick up his jet skis to take to the Keys and they weren't ready, and he knew he shouldn't have gone there, that people had warned him about this place, and they charged him for parts and they shouldn't have, etc. A real live rant. Bottom line, can I call the place and smooth things over so that he can go back and pick up the jet skis tonight because they are planning to leave for vacation in the middle of the night. Apparently, he didn't hold back when he found out that the jet skis weren't ready - to the extent that he didn't want to have to see anyone who worked there. His request was that I get them to leave the jet skis on the trailer outside of their gate, so he could come by later and not have to talk to anyone or sign anything. I called their office, my first attempt I got hung up on, I'm not saying it was on purpose, just a coincidence... and eventually get hold of the girl he had been 'dealing' with. I explained to her that I worked for Mr. So-And-So, who was just there and what did we have to do to get him out of her hair? Basically, she was more than happy to have the technicians finish their repairs and get the jet skis on the trailer, it would only take another half hour. She said they wouldn't leave them outside of the gate, but that Mr. So-And-So wouldn't have to come in to sign anything, he could just hook up to the trailer and go. FINE. I called her back, just in case he did talk to her and asked her to fax me the receipts, and told her that if Mr. So-And-So should ask her, that I was going to get back with her in the morning to discuss the bill, then reassured her that she would never hear from either of us again.

Last night I had a nightmare that I came into work this morning to find out that the jet skis weren't ready and that I had to go and pick them up myself and drive them nine hours down to where they are staying in the keys.

He checked in with me this morning, and said that I sounded like I was in a better mood - he did get the jet skis, no problem.

Two hours later he calls back from his wife's cell phone. 'I LOST MY *&%$-ING PHONE!' Ready for a real tantrum? You know those people who rely on their cell phones as a way of life? My boss is one of them, he doesn't go anywhere without it, that includes the bathroom (I called him there once by accident). 'I lost a bunch of numbers, I'm not going to be able to get my calls, you'll have to forward my calls to my wife's phone, I'm not going to be able to get another phone right away...' It went on for a few minutes, until I interrupted and assured him that I could get him another phone overnighted (I wasn't really sure, but I would say just about anything to pacify him at this point, especially after the jet ski saga last night) to where he was staying, and that I would also send him his cable to sync to his laptop, which has all of his important numbers. He settled down for a minute and was able to tell me how he lost the phone... Apparently, he was adjusting the jet skis in the parking lot of a rest stop and accidentally called someone, so he took the phone out of his pocket to hang it up and left it on top of the jet skis and drove off. He went right back and it was gone. Then he decided that he didn't want the same phone, he wanted me to instead get him a better one anyways, fine.
I hang up with him and get on the phone with the cell phone company for what I am anticipating to be a long, drawn out call. Just as I'm having his phone deactivated, he calls on the other line. Someone picked up the phone and called his mother with it and she called his wife and they were going to meet him and get it back. SO, I real quick put him on hold and scream at the cell phone lady to stop what she's doing - he found the phone! Thank god for modern technology. No offense, but I hope both their batteries go dead so I don't hear from him again today. I always come to work on Friday thinking it's going to be a great day to slack off, but it doesn't seem to be working out for me.